As nurses on this pale blue dot, the impending climate crisis requires us to engage with our world and communities differently if we hope to ensure our planetary survival, human and non. Imagining the next 50 years of nursing theory, we advance a posthuman critique of the discipline. In this article, we lay out a posthumanist critique of nursing. We urge nurses to critically engage with the realities that shape our present and future on a deteriorating planet, decentering the primacy of humans as we engage with the world all around and assemble posthuman tools for our analyses.